Be resilient

As I was imaging the happy moments for the wedding of my 2 very good friends, I got a call from another really close friend. I was shocked to hear the bad news... The whole day, I could not get my mind off the thought that life is so full of drama. While the happiest chapter is unfolding itself for someone, tragedy just stroke someone else. Perhaps life is always like this. Just that it's only now I start to feel it so strongly because they are happening closely to me.

We are very vulnerable... we can only be resilient.

Read and travel

The old Chinese teaching: Travel thousands of miles and read tens of thousands of books.
I would add one more... meet hundreds of people.

Align

It takes a lot of aligning to get together, let alone for two from drastically different background. It is a painful process to discover the mismatch of expectations, to crystallize and pinpoint the issue and to spell out each other's stand. Feelings are hurt, bad thoughts are open in the air... but the end is extremely gratifying because you know the other person has complete faith in you to tell you what he truly thinks, and believes the two will come to a common ground.

Do better than required

Things went wrong. I thought it was just a mandate and does not pay the bills, so I did the bare minimum on the last minute. I suffered from the stress, the emotions, the bad results and became the slave to the task. What I missed is the opportunity to learn new knowledge, to improve and to turn it into an advantage.

Start early

start with getting information, having a idea what is expected. Even if there is no immediate action, the simmering will help to ferment a pot of good wine.
Keep problems and open questions in the back of mind. Insights and ideas will surface naturally.

When things are all over the place...

When I feel things are going out of my reach, my fault is not the lack of ability to tracking them down. My fault is really letting things stretch myself into random directions, and letting people do whatever they like. The way out is to chop off the many concerns which may seem eligible, chop off the many crooked paths which may avoid obstacles. Keep it straight, keep it clean!

Growing up

Growing up is a process of getting exposed to bigger and bigger pictures, which implies tougher and tougher problems. Instead of getting overwhelmed, we are better off by acknowledging that there is simply no easy way out. It is not our fault that there are problems everywhere and there seems no clear solution. It is also not realistic to expect ourselves to have anticipated today's problem 5 years ago and to have done something about it. We live day by day and we survive, for ourselves and for our loved ones.

Time to change

When you feel there is road block, it is a good chance to re-think about the whole affair. Much has been taken for granted, for good or bad. It's time to think differently and act differently.

To get things done

The way to get things done is to pick a small task, but the most important one. Small, so that it does not look too daunting and will have a much higher chance to get done. Step zero is to think hard and keep things simple, so they can be 'small'. Second, is to focus resources (time and energy) so you can pick the most important so the effort will give a return.

Ask, ask and ask

Working smart = Ask questions. Don't assume. Find out what the other person really wants, what information is easily available but you are not aware of.

The American way of talk

The American way of communication is extremely direct, quantified and 'arrogant' in marketing strengths, but subtle, indirect when describing weaknesses.

Never give up

You think you can't do it any more, then you will indeed not able to do it. The mental strength and the confidence comes from past success, team support and sheer consequence that you can't afford to take. Get whatever you need, and continue trying. Often winner is not the smartest and the most capable person, but the one who lasts till the end.

Mind your own business first

First rule of relationship is to give help before asking for help. While all these give and take is taking place, rule zero is to squarely focus on what you want to achieve. It is always about what you can get out of it and what benefits you.

Give people confidence

Even if you felt the person does not cut it, he still have his merits and worthiness for something else. It is very natural to play a person down when firing, but in fact it is the time you really should build his confidence to go out and find the right place for himself. Every carrot has its hole, as the Chinese saying goes. Give people the confidence they need to live a life.

A monster is smaller in reality than in your head

When a task looks very daunting, when a goal looks very far away, it is actually simpler in reality. Starting doing it, you will realize it is in fact simpler, easier, better than you thought.

Care more

Care more about the problems in everyday life, care more about the people around us. Many of us are really blessed. We have high education, good jobs, global exposure, wonderful families, etc. etc. and we get very comfortable with it. We forget that we thus have the responsibility to better our life, better our world.

Care more so you feel the drive to do so.

Be with people who are better than you

They help you to see things you don't see. They stretch your imagination of excellence, accomplishment and good character.

A decade in life...

Just to mark this date as the starting point of a new decade in life. 10 years on a tiny little island, something I never imagined, let alone planned, but it all happened without me even realizing it.

This reminded me of a line Mom told me: Life is made of many many steps, but only a few makes a difference.

Walk carefully in those steps!

Commitment to fight procrastination

I realize when I get last minute about something, it is usually because I am not committed to the task. 'Ya gonna wanna' as in the book. Without such a strong desire, even if you can drag yourself to barely finish the task, you will not be able to motivate your team members.

Problem -> Opporutnity

Every problem is an opportunity to do things better. Every crisis is an danger to push you out of comfort zone. What it takes to make the conversion is the eye for such an opportunity and the willingness to make something good out of a bad situation.

Seize the moment and life gets better because of crisis (=danger+opportunity)!

It is in your mind

If you think you are average, you can be no better than average.

If you shoot for moon, at least you will land on stars.

What can I offer

I thought without me, the sun would still rise and set, and the show will still go on. What I didn't know is little things could make a huge impact (positive and negative). If I could just make the next person a little closer to success, then I am already adding value.

Keep clapping

When hit by a bad surprise, when stumbling over a mistake, we should always keep going, just like the clapping game. It is not about how accurately we clap, but how well we could leave the misses behind and keep clapping. The more we try, the sooner we will get it right.

My piano teacher used to telling me the same. A piece is complete when you complete it. If you can't get over your mistakes and keeping repeating that part, you will forever be stuck there. The more imperative thing is to continue, never ever stop.

Take care of your relationship

When in doubt, make sure you give the benefit of the doubt to the others. It is so much better to keep the relationship positive than try to ensure no money loss. In the latter, the loss on people can not be bought back and therefore does not worth losing. It takes years to build a trust-worthy relationship, but could be destroyed over a second.

Stick out till you get it

Khosla - "I made friends with everyone in the admissions office...' It is not just his persistence but really the friendship he made helped him get in Stanford.
watching his video also reinforced my observation that good people are nice approachable from outside and yet extremely determined and persistent from inside. Khosla refused to leave and sat in the lobby till the deal was signed.

Touching people

It counts more than you thing to reach out to people, provide them value and care for them.

Open vulnerability

To share your problem and ask for advice creates more room for engagement and adds positive vibe to the relationship.

Solving problems

when encountering a problem, instead of searching inward, better to ask around. Ask the people who have done it and ask the customers what they want.

Work hard anyway...

you may not get results from the place you put in most effort, but you will be rewarded elsewhere as long as you are putting your heart into what you do.
"You know 50% of your effort will be wasted, but you don't know which 50%"

Don't forget the stick

People respond better when there is both a carrot and a stick. So always make sure there is a bad cop and a good cop working together.

Starting point...

I should reflect and calibrate from time to time what I have achieved and what needs to be done differently/more to be who I want to be.

It is very important to have good support at work and more so at home. I should start with being of such a support to people who I love...